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THE WEAZEL NEWS
Fair, Balanced, Unafraid
VOL. CXII NO. 289Friday, April 17, 2026www.theweazelnews.sa
ISLAND CARNAGE
CAYO PERICO HEIST: $4.57M STOLEN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
By J. Halloway, Crime Desk - Friday, April 17, 2026
A four-person crew descended on El Rubio's private island Thursday morning, leaving with what the LSPD estimates to be $4.57 million in cash, art, and cut gems.
Officials say the crew entered through the north drainage tunnel at approximately 04:12. Within eighteen minutes, they had bypassed two perimeter patrols, neutralized El Rubio's Alsatian, and cracked the panic room safe. Witnesses describe a Kosatka submarine surfacing half a mile offshore before the thieves vanished into the fog. No arrests have been made. Authorities are requesting the public stay vigilant and report any unusual activity near the Port of LS. The FIB has offered a $250,000 reward for information leading to an arrest.
"We will find them. The jungle always gives up its secrets."-- Lt. M. Vasquez, LSPD Robbery-Homicide
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